Week 1: Renew
In our over-busy, digital, distracted world, the first challenge we face in silence and solitude is simply our lack of ability to focus and bring our attention to God.
The goal for this week is to first identify a time and place that works well for you to practice silence and solitude, set a modest goal, settling into an awareness of God’s presence with a breathing prayer, and then asking God to renew you and your vision for life. It sounds easy, but, like all good things, it takes practice. So be patient with yourself and God, and enjoy the journey.
Begin with silence and prayer (5 min)
Gather together as a group in a comfortable setting (around a table, on the couch, the floor of a living room, etc.). Say a quick prayer to invite the Holy Spirit to lead and guide your time together. Then spend a few minutes in silence. Why silence, even while together? Because we live in a busy, noisy world, under a non-stop assault of distraction. Amid all the chaos, it’s hard at times to hear the voice of God, and that of our brothers and sisters. As we gather together, we want to hear what the Father is saying to and through each of us, and respond in turn. A great way to do that is to begin each time with silence and prayer.
Debrief the scripture teaching in small groups (15-20 min)
Catch up on the past week… Then read Mark 1:35–39 and discuss the following questions:
Did you read the passage before Sunday? What stuck out to you when your first read through it?
Did you listen to the teaching? What did you think?
Is silence and solitude a regular part of your discipleship to Jesus? If yes, what does that look like in your life? If no, why not? (Note: The point of this question is an honest conversation, not guilt or shame. Work hard to create a safe place in your community for people at every stage)
How does the idea of silence and solitude make you feel? Excited? Scared? Too busy?
Talk about the coming week’s practice (10-30m)
1. Identify a time and place that works well for you.
— Time: For most people, first thing in the morning works best. You’re rested, fresh, and the day is young. For others, a more optimal time slot is when the kids are napping, on a lunch break, after work, or before you go to bed. Feel free to experiment this week until you find the right fit.
— Place: Find a place that is as quiet and distraction-free as possible. A comfortable chair by a window is a favorite for many. Try covering yourself with a blanket or lighting a candle. Weather permitting, a local park or a neighborhood walk is awesome.
2. Set a modest goal.
— Beginner: It’s better to start small and work your way up. We recommend you start with 5 minutes, 3-5 days a week.
— Intermediate: If you already practice silence and solitude a few times a week, consider upping the length to 10-15 minutes or trying it daily.
— Advanced: If you already practice silence and solitude regularly, consider upping your time further to the recommended daily goal of 20 minutes, looking for little minutes across the day for silence, or scheduling a day of solitude (email Pastor Ryan for resources)
Then, for the Practice itself….
1. Put away your phone or any other distractions, settle into your time/place, and get comfortable.
— For most people, sitting with your back straight, shoulders relaxed, legs on the floor is a good start. Others do better lying on their back in a relaxed position.
— Some of you may prefer to do this exercise while walking or doing something simple with your hands, like laundry, drawing, or stretching.
2. Begin with a breathing prayer
— Close your eyes.
— Take long, deep, slow breaths (if you want, count 4 seconds in, 4 seconds wait, 4 seconds out, repeat). Inhale through your nose, exhale through your mouth.
— Start to pay attention to your breathing. Just “watch” your breath go in and out.
— Release the constant chatter in your mind. Let each thought go as quickly as it comes, and just focus on your breathing.
— Your mind will seize this opportunity to run wild with thoughts, feelings, memories, to do’s, and distractions. That’s okay. Don’t judge yourself, feel bad, give up, or worry. When you notice your mind start to wander, just recenter with a quick prayer, often called a breath prayer. It can be as simple as “Father” or “Jesus be with me” or “Abba, I belong to you.” (Tip: If distraction comes easy sometimes a candle can give you an object to set your attention on as well)
— In the beginning, just 1-2 minutes of this is a huge win, and 10 minutes is a home run.
3. Spend a few minutes resting in the presence of God
— Notice God’s presence all around you, in you. For some people, it’s helpful to imagine Jesus sitting in the chair across from you or God on a throne, or the Spirit resting over them.
4. Listen.
— Now that you’re quiet before him, ask him to speak into your life. A few ideas…
— Who do you say I am? How do you see me, Father?
— Is there anything you want me to say today? Is there anything you want me to do today?
— Is there anyone you want me to bless today? In what way? What would be pleasing to you today?
— What lies am I believing? Then, after you wait and listen, ask the following question: what truth do you want to replace that lie with? Sit in questions like these before God, and just see what comes?
— If nothing comes to you, that’s okay! On a regular basis the win from this practice is just to be attentive to God’s presence. Try meditating on a Scripture that speaks of God’s compassionate love for you, ex. Psalm 23, John 15, 17, or Ephesians 1.
5. Close in a prayer of gratitude and commit the rest of your day to the Father
A few things to note…
— You can’t “succeed” or “fail” at this practice. All you can do is show up. Be patient. This takes some people years to master. Resist the urge to say, “I’m bad at this” or “This isn’t for me.” Don’t judge yourself.
— If you’re more of the “active” type and sitting still is just death, you might want to try this while doing a stretching exercise or going on a walk somewhere quiet and distraction-free (like a park or short hike). Apply the same idea to a walking prayer, and just focus on your walking instead of your breathing.
Work through these discussion questions (10-15 min)
— How does the idea of a breathing prayer hit you? Does it sound appealing? Stupid? Uncomfortable?
— What challenges do you face in carving out time for silence and solitude? (Ex. Overall busyness, work schedule, little kids, apartment living, extroverted personality, etc.)
— What are your deepest fears and greatest hope for this coming week’s practice?
Note… The goal for these is not to provide your group with questions to “check off” but to open up discussion. Don’t feel forced to do all of them or constricted only to them!
Close in prayer for one another and the week (10-15 min)
(Content Above Adapted from Practicing the Way and Emotionally Healthy Spirituality)