Week 3: Relinquish
The Hebrew word for “Be still” is literally “to let go of your grip.” In silence and solitude, we let go of our will, expectations of perfection, need for safety and control. We pray, “Not my will, but yours be done.”
Begin with silence and prayer (5 min)
Gather together as a group in a comfortable setting (around a table, on the couch, the floor of a living room, etc.). Say a quick prayer to invite the Holy Spirit to lead and guide your time together. Then spend a few minutes in silence. Why silence, even while together? Because we live in a busy, noisy world, under a non-stop assault of distraction. Amid all the chaos, it’s hard at times to hear the voice of God, and that of our brothers and sisters. As we gather together, we want to hear what the Father is saying to and through each of us, and respond in turn. A great way to do that is to begin each time with silence and prayer.
Debrief last week’s practice (10 min)
Catch up on the past week… Then discuss the following questions:
1. How did last week’s practice of silence and solitude go?
2. What was the best part? The hardest part?
3. What did the practice reveal? (i.e. anxiety? anger? falling asleep and need for earlier bedtime?)
4. How did a regular rhythm of rest impact the rest of your day and week?
Discuss the Scriptures and last week’s teaching (10 min)
Read Mark 14:32–39 and discuss the following questions:
1. Did you read the passage before Sunday? What stuck out to you in the passage when your first read through it?
2. Did you listen to the teaching? What did you think?
3. Why was a time of solitude and silence necessary for Jesus before the cross? What did it reveal about his priorities, relationship with the Father?
Talk about the coming week’s practice (10-30 min)
(Continue in the pattern you’ve established of silence and solitude over the past two weeks, whether 3 days and 5 minutes or seven days and twenty minutes. Hopefully, this is a new normal for you!)
1. Plan to set aside an additional 1-2 hours on a particular day this next week to be alone with God. Find a time and place that is quiet and distraction-free. Bring a journal and pen with you.
2. Once you’ve come to that time and place, begin your time by inviting the Holy Spirit and practicing your breathing prayer for a few minutes to center your soul, mind, and body.
3. In the journal you brought, write at the top of a page: “I want…” and begin to list out the desires of your heart. This is not a time for judgment but curiosity and honesty. No wrong answers. Examples: Six-pack abs, closer friendships, Mom to follow Jesus, the promotion, a new job, a new boyfriend, a new spouse, my baby to sleep, my teenager to obey. Although there’s no time limit here, the goal is not to rush through this but to give full voice to your desires.
4. On top of the next page write, “I fear…” and now continue the pattern you’ve developed on the previous page listing out the fears, concerns, and anxieties of your heart. Again, don’t pretend to be more brave or courageous than you are, list as many as you can. Look to see how your fears connect to your desires from the previous page. What are some of the underlying themes you see?
5. Finally, on the final page write, “I surrender…” This final page can read more like a written prayer than a list as you hand over all your wants and fears to God, praying over each one, “not my will, but yours be done.” Some of these may be more difficult than others, and the goal is to stay with them in the discomfort and fear until we can trust them over to God.
6. Spend some time resting in the presence of your trustworthy Father and thank him for the time together.
A few things to note…
Because of the extended nature of this practice, you will need to be intentional to find the time and place. Particularly with parents, you may need to plan with your spouse or a friend to watch the kids so you can find an uninterrupted time.
If you already practice Sabbath, something like this can perfectly work within that time.
Similarly, though some can find 1-2 hours each day or even each week, it can be quite difficult for many. The goal of this week’s practice is to invite you to consider longer times of silence and solitude on a semi-regular basis (monthly or every other month).
Work through these discussion questions (10-15 min)
Any thoughts for this coming week’s Practice?
After a few weeks of practice, does the prospect of 1-2 hours excite you? Terrify you?
What preparations will you need to make in order to find this time?
How are you planning on continuing in this practice moving forward? Are you hoping to continue? Hoping to increase your time? How can we as your Discipleship Group help you in that?